Someone asked me last week why I always say “I could be wrong” before expressing an opinion.
“You keep doing it,” they said. “It sounds like you don’t have confidence in yourself.”
But I’m not sure. I just know I might lose information. My opinion is not the only valid one. Being certain about everything is usually a sign that you haven’t thought carefully enough.
I learned this from my boss a few years ago. She speaks up before she makes a decision, before she gives feedback, before she disagrees with others. At first, I thought this was a bad thing and that she didn’t believe in herself.
But strangely enough, she’s almost always right. Because she leaves room for correction. She invites people to challenge her ideas. When they did, she adjusted. She’s not protecting her ego—she’s protecting the quality of her decision-making.
That’s when I started paying attention to how the smartest people I knew actually spoke. The words they use. They ask questions. Phrases that come up over and over again.
Here are phrases that differentiate high-level thinkers from everyone else.
1. “I could be wrong.”
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Do you know a person who expresses every opinion as if it is an established fact? Who can talk with absolute certainty about something they learned five minutes ago?
This is not what high-level thinkers do.
They were filled with doubts before the announcement. “I might be wrong, but…” “I might be missing something, but…”
This is called intellectual humility.
Research on decision-making finds that people who regularly acknowledge uncertainty make better predictions and adjust more quickly when new information emerges. They are not obsessed with being right – they just want to know the truth.
This sentence creates room for correction. It signals an openness to mistakes. Ironically, being willing to be wrong makes it easier for you to be right.
2. “What am I missing?”
Someone disagrees with you. Your first thought might be: They don’t get it. If they understood what I understood, they would agree with me.
But people who think from a higher level overturn this assumption.
They ask themselves: “What am I not seeing?” “What information am I missing?” “What perspective am I missing?”
Research on collaborative problem solving shows that assuming gaps in one’s own knowledge leads to better solutions than assuming gaps in others’ understanding.
I find myself doing this when I’m convinced I’m right and someone disagrees. Instead of feeling frustrated, I asked what I was missing. Half the time, it turns out I missed something big.
3. “Tell me more about it.”
Someone said something that sounds ridiculous to you. How wrong. Completely off base.
Instead of correcting them, you ask them to keep talking.
According to research on productive conversations, people who delay reactions and invite elaboration reach mutual understanding faster than those who immediately rebuttal.
Sometimes they explain and you realize they’re right.
Sometimes you both discover that the problem is more complicated than you thought.
Sometimes you still disagree, but at least you understand why.
The smartest people I know often use this quote because they sincerely want to understand before they respond.
4. “I’ve changed my mind.”
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Changing your mind feels awkward.
As a result, most people hold on to positions they no longer believe in. They defend ideas they have privately given up on. They would rather be wrong all the time than right all the time.
Top thinkers declared this.
“I used to think X, but now I think Y.”
“I was wrong.”
“This new information changed my perspective.”
Studies tracking intellectual flexibility have found something surprising: People who openly admit to changing their minds are seen as more trustworthy, not less trustworthy. Being willing to update your perspective shows that you are learning.
Furthermore, clinging to one’s beliefs even after the evidence contradicts the facts is stubbornness.
5. “This is not my area of expertise.”
Many people feel the need to have an opinion on everything.
Politics, economics, science, medicine, education – it doesn’t matter if you haven’t studied it. No matter what, they will participate with confidence.
The sharpest thinkers do just the opposite. They said they didn’t know enough to give an informed opinion, that the topic was beyond their field, and that they hadn’t done enough research to comment. “
Research on actual expertise shows a pattern: Real experts readily acknowledge the boundaries of their knowledge. The more one knows, the more one realizes how much one does not know.
When someone easily says “I don’t know,” it usually means they know a lot. They only know where their knowledge ends.
6. “Help me understand your perspective.”
It’s hard not to have a physical reaction when someone says something you disagree with. The tempting move is to explain why they are wrong.
People who think more deeply take a different approach.
“Help me understand how you see this.” “Tell me your reasoning.” “What led you there?”
Research on persuasion finds that people who approach disagreements with genuine curiosity are more likely to change their minds than people who approach disagreements with a corrective approach. Understanding doesn’t mean agreement – it just means you understand their position well enough to engage honestly.
This changes the energy. It turns debate into conversation. In conversations, people are actually thinking, not just defending.
7. “I don’t know.”
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Three words. The hardest thing to say.
Someone asks you something and you don’t know the answer. Instead of guessing, deflecting, or making things up, just say, “I don’t know.”
Feeling vulnerable. Like you should know. Just like not knowing makes you look stupid.
But top thinkers just admit it. Then, if it matters, they find out.
I started doing this at work. Someone asks me something I’m not sure about, and instead of pretending to be confident, I say, “I don’t know. Let me check it out and get back to you.” It’s never hurt me. Usually it helps. Because I’m not going to give people wrong information.
8. “What would change your mind?”
This question separates thinking from identity.
If someone can tell you what evidence would change their mind, they are thinking. Their position is based on reasoning. They are open to persuasion if presented with the right information.
If they can’t answer—if nothing can change their mind—then their belief isn’t based on evidence. This is part of who they are.
Research on belief formation finds that simply asking people to consider what would change their minds increases intellectual humility and reduces polarization. The act of thinking about problems makes people more flexible.
People who think at the highest level ask this of themselves and others. Not to frame anyone. But figure out if the conversation is worth having. If both parties are thinking honestly, it is possible to have a productive conversation.
These phrases by themselves do not make you smarter. But they illustrate something important about high-level thinkers: They are more interested in truth than in being right. They are willing to learn, not just defend. They view conversations as opportunities to think better rather than battles to win. This shift is actually what separates high-level thinkers from those who think they are high-level thinkers.
