Holes in the marriage and literal holes in the house. This is how one woman described the storm she endured – financial, emotional and structural – after discovering her husband had secretly spent his “entertainment money” on a conversation with a woman in prison.
The story was revealed on a recent episode of “The Ramsay Show,” in which co-host Rachel Cruze and george carmel Got a call from a woman named Caroline. Four months ago, she checked their phone bill and discovered some unfamiliar numbers. Her husband, who always claimed he was penniless and anxiously awaited his next cash allowance, had apparently been in touch with a prison pen pal. Not for weeks. Three years.
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“I couldn’t figure it out,” Caroline explained. “He had nothing to show for his money, but he always had no money.”
She said they started communicating after her husband saw an ad online. While Kamal initially claimed he was “trapped,” he vehemently rebutted: “No, he was not trapped. He did it intentionally out of his own free will.”
Cruz confirmed the obvious: Yes, it was the same incarcerated woman all along. Caroline later learned that the money was used to fund commissary accounts or similar prison expenses.
“He just fell into it,” she said. “But he never told me – he just kept it hidden.”
For Caroline, emotional betrayal wasn’t the only issue to deal with. Shortly after the truth was revealed, a tree fell on their home. “So we were dealing with a hole in our marriage and our house,” she said. Even if she wanted to leave, the practical issues of divorce and selling the house were off the table.
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When asked if they were actively working on their marriage, Caroline said she had been in therapy and her husband, although hesitant, agreed to go to church with her and planned to attend a marriage retreat. But she admitted she didn’t feel like she had the full story.
“He said nothing good would come of it. It was too dark,” she recalled, referring to her husband’s reaction when she asked him to go to counseling.
“You can’t tell half the truth,” Cruz told her. “no way.”
Kamal asked her to pull his credit report and freeze his credit to prevent any new hidden accounts. He also recommends setting up real-time transaction alerts, even if they are separate accounts. Cruz supports Caroline’s idea of tracking his future “fun money” spending.
“This has nothing to do with being his mom,” Cruz said. “This is about rebuilding trust.”
Caroline admitted she was worried more secrets would come to light. “I was worried something else was going to happen,” she said. “He still hasn’t told me the whole truth.”
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Caroline’s story is far from unique. A Bankrate survey released last week found that 40 percent of U.S. adults keep financial secrets while in a relationship, whether it’s hiding spending, debt or entire accounts. 43% said these types of lies are as bad or worse than cheating.
In Caroline’s case, her husband quietly spent money on prison pen pals over three years, demonstrating how a secret spending habit can erode trust. Many couples don’t even know the full picture of each other’s financial situations, and the gap can become even wider.
Some red flags to watch out for include:
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Always short of money for no reason
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Becoming defensive when asked about money
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non-additive costs
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Hide passwords or bank access
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Avoid talking about debt or budget
If you’re trying to rebuild trust, or protect yourself while figuring out next steps, speaking with a financial advisor can help you set guardrails, track spending, and plan for what comes next.
For Caroline, it’s no longer about “fun money.” It’s about keeping themselves safe while deciding if they can still build something real, or if it’s time to leave.
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The woman in the article said her husband was always broke – and then she found out he had squandered three years of “entertainment money” to prison pen pals after pulling phone records. “It’s So Dark” originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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