The conversation started following a recent viral video posted on the social media platform TikTok.
Kelly Brewer is a white woman living in Chicago. In a video posted on TikTok, she explained how a white man she dated in the past asked her if she had ever dated a black man.
“I was dating a white guy in Chicago last year and he said, ‘So who do you usually date? Is it guys who look like me?’ I know exactly what he meant because most white guys are going to ask that question at some point because they’re ultimately trying to figure out if your quote is ‘tainted.'”
Brewer explained that she confronted the white man she was dating about his assumptions. “I literally said to him, ‘Does it bother you that you think about black people more than they think about you?’ That’s where the conversation ended. But obviously, we didn’t go on a second date. I do think he was very angry about that.”
This isn’t just a problem for men with conservative views, she added. “There are a lot of white people, even ‘liberal’ ones, who are really threatened and intimidated because you date a person of color, it’s ridiculous.”
Brewer said many white men were aggressive toward her because of her history of dating men of color. However, there is one particular group that seems to react the most. “If you say you’ve dated a black person, they obviously get the most obvious, disgusted look on their face,” Brewer said.
She says it’s just one small part of a larger process white men use to evaluate white women’s dating histories. “This is just an example of white men trying to figure out the ‘purity’ of what they see in white women,” Brewer said. “It’s a resourceful way to protect their own women because they don’t like white women seeing other races or other genders.”
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