WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth met privately Wednesday with the families of six service members killed in the war with Iran and told a news conference the next morning that the message he received was consistent and supportive.
“I heard the same voice from family after family through tears, hugs, strength and unbreakable determination. They said, ‘Get this done. Respect their sacrifice. Don’t waver. Don’t stop until the job is done,'” Heggs said.
One of the people he met at Dover Air Force Base, Delaware, was Charles Simmons. His 28-year-old son Tech. Sgt. Tyler H. Simmons was one of six crew members killed in a tanker plane that crashed in Iraq last week.
Simmons recalls his conversation differently.
“I can’t speak for other families. When he talks to me, that’s not what we’re talking about,” he told NBC News in an interview on Thursday.
Simmons said he spoke with Hegseth and President Donald Trump separately in Dover and expressed gratitude for the warmth both men showed toward him.
Simmons recalled that he and Hegseth mostly talked about Taylor, his impressive service record and how quickly he had progressed through the Army.
U.S. Air Force technology. Sgt. Tyler H. Simmons. (U.S. Air Force)
(U.S. Air Force)
He said he told the defense secretary, “I know there are a lot of dangers involved in making a decision like this, and I certainly hope that the decision that is made is necessary.”
Asked if he had said anything to Hegseth or Trump about the need to continue the war, Simmons said: “No, I didn’t say anything like that.”
Simmons, a 60-year-old music teacher in Columbus, Ohio, told NBC News that he has “questions” about the war and “cannot draw firm conclusions without all the data.”
“Who wants war?” he added. “Sometimes it’s necessary, but I just don’t know what’s going on.”
“Secretary Heggs has the utmost respect for our Gold Star families and is committed to honoring their fallen loved ones,” Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell said in a statement. “While in Dover, the Secretary spoke with each family of our fallen heroes, and the details of each conversation were kept confidential.”
White House press secretary Olivia Wales said Trump was “devastated” on Wednesday by the “incredible families” of the six service members. Trump “shared his love and expressed the deep gratitude of our entire nation. These men and women gave their lives defending our freedoms, and President Trump will never forget their honorable service and selfless devotion. They represented the best of America.”
Simmons last spoke to his only son the day before last week’s fatal plane crash. In a husky voice, he said Taylor told him “how much he loved me.”
He said his son hopes to become a commercial airplane pilot when he eventually retires from the military.
“Tyler has a charismatic personality,” he said. “Never met a stranger. He walked into a room and it immediately lit up.”
Hegseth’s description of the family messages echoed comments Trump made earlier this month after meeting with the families of six different service members whose bodies had been flown back to the United States.
Trump met with the families at a ceremony in Dover on March 7. Two days later, Trump told reporters that the families were “incredible people” and that “everyone” told him the same thing: “Get the job done, sir. Please get the job done.”
A public official within the confines of Trump’s meeting with family members that day told NBC News they did not hear any of them tell Trump to “get the job done” in Iran.
The Dover meeting was part of the so-called “dignified transfer” ceremony. Families of the victims arrived at the air base to retrieve the remains, which had been flown in and shipped away in flag-draped containers. If they choose, their families will have the opportunity to interact face-to-face with the president, vice president or other senior official who sent their loved one to war.
Simmons left Dover with a better impression of the war architect than when he arrived. Simmons said Trump hugged him through tears, displaying a warmth and compassion that was at odds with the president’s public persona. He also praised Trump for “looking him in the eye.”
“He offered his condolences to his father and expressed how difficult it was to make decisions that put other parents’ children at risk,” Simmons said.
As for Hegseth, “When I talked to him, my impression was that he was conflicted because he seemed to be a very compassionate man who was faced with difficult decisions related to the war,” Simmons said.
“I also let him know that Tyler is my only son. You could see the emotion on his face. I think you can’t fake these things,” he continued.
“I’m pleasantly surprised because people think they [Trump and Hegseth] They don’t care, they do what they want to do,” he said. “I got to see that other side of them up close and personal. “
In addition to Simmons, NBC News has reached out to the families of 12 other service members killed in the Iran war.
Rep. Eugene Vindman, D-Va., a military veteran who served on the White House National Security Council during Trump’s first term, participated in the dignified transition on March 7 after a constituent was killed. (Trump removed Vindman from office in 2020 after he raised concerns about Trump’s dealings with Ukraine.)
Vindman said he did not overhear Trump talking to his family. Still, he doubted that distraught family members would talk to the president about the need or importance of the war.
“There are families out there who are dealing with a terrible, tragic loss,” Vindman said. “They’re still trying to understand what this loss means to them personally: the loss of a husband, a father, a wife. They’re not thinking about the mission.”
As the conflict enters its third week, the Trump administration says U.S. and Israeli attacks have weakened Iran’s military capabilities and helped weaken the regime. But the war has also caused oil and gas prices to soar as Iran effectively closes the Strait of Hormuz, a vital waterway. Top U.S. counterterrorism official Joe Kent, who resigned this week over the war, said Iran posed no imminent threat to the United States
Simmons recalled what his son told him before he volunteered for the mission that ended his life.
“He said, ‘Dad, I can’t give you any details, but if civilians knew what we know, there would be a lot of criticism [of the war] will stop,” he said.
This article originally appeared on NBCNews.com
