Every entree is within reach of Week 18, with the Seattle Seahawks and Carolina Panthers plopping down at the Chili’s booth, spilling your drink, apologizing mid-stream, ordering your least favorite appetizer for the entire table, eating loudly with your mouth full, and pestering the waiter for refills. After halftime, the two sides started fighting. One left the restaurant with a bloody nose, the other with victory. All in all it was a very fulfilling evening.
In fact, after a first quarter with no big plays and thus little scoring, and a second quarter that combined the worst parts of 10 a.m. games in the 2000s with a heart-stopping Pete Carroll hit, the third quarter arrived just in time to restore the balance to the force of nature we call the Seahawks.
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Think about it: As we head into the New Year, no one in the NFL has more wins than Seattle. Mike Macdonald has more wins this year (13) than Pete Carroll, Bill Belichick and Andy Reid combined (12). If I wasn’t too busy picking my own jaw off the floor, I’d happily do it again.
Despite an unruly first half, it turned out the Seahawks were toying with us. Just kidding, they saved their trump card for the third quarter, when two touchdowns 3 minutes and 13 seconds apart turned the game from a stalemate to a possible winnable situation. Although Carolina cut the deficit to one point with a great field goal, the home team then never had a chance to win or take the lead. After a desperate 4th-and-17 attempt yielded nothing in its own territory, Seattle took the lead on its 25 with less than 4 minutes remaining and rode Zach’s strappy Bach into the end zone for a crucial tee shot. We ended up with the highest score of 27-10 and gave us the rarest of treats: consecutive winning formations. The Panthers were first in surrender mode—
– The second was the Seahawks, after possession was transferred back to Seattle for a final kneeling of honor.
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Sam Darnold was careless and unlucky one day, then turned tough and conservative, and the Seahawks won on the road by 17 points. how? 158 rushing yards helped. It helped that the Panthers held zero passes for eight yards. It helps to make Bryce Young’s life a mess. Allowing only 139 total yards helped. Taking the ball away twice helped. Eliminating errors helps after half a year. Above all, guard every blade of grass, even on the road.
I’m traveling today so simplicity is the mother of necessity. (Apologies for the Witherspoonism.) Let’s quickly jump on the DeLorean and revisit the middle two quarters. Because that’s where all the shit happens, good and bad. Have you seen the Seahawks?
The first quarter was filled with punts instead of scores, and Chubbs made an incredible 3rd-and-16 conversion on the ground, with an intentional touchdown leading to a 3rd-and-30. The Panthers had only 18 yards of offense in three possessions and it looked like maybe a three-point play might unlock something. First Ken Walker swooped in for 11 points, then Rashid Shaheed scored another eight points* in space on the sideline before Charbonnet found the first goal in the middle. But the game stalled when Michael Jackson blew up Jaxon Smith-Nigba’s coverage with the same ferocity as when Shahid left the game with a concussion. It’s football time after all.
*It is true that size eight is very expensive.
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A rare miss by Michael Dickson meant Carolina would start at his 25, but Uchenna Nwosu failed to do so. He’d completed a pass and rushed Young on a horrific overthrow (called DPI, more on that soon), but his biggest contribution came on a third-down TFL that led to a clear scramble situation in Seahawks territory. The Panthers did, but ended up going offsides and losing possession.
Yes, Carolina finally moved the ball a little, but to get even the tiniest bit of magic, they needed to be in good position on fourth down and make an extremely tricky call on Devon Witherspoon defending an uncatchable lift. The game had gone on for 23 minutes, and the entire score was summed up by a shot from Jason Myers.
Seattle had a chance to take control of the game, but they made their first critical mistake of the day: Darnold dared a pass forward. If you can believe it, upon review, the clip below was confirmed to be a mistake. The broadcast tried to explain it away with some nonsense about a loose ball before Darnold’s arm started moving forward. There are no replays to show this.
The defense held firm, allowing only field goals, and the game remained a deadlock even though every drive against the Seahawks seemed to be blown away. With two minutes of possession and the opening kickoff of the second half, they embarked on another of their signature double-dip, half-court hugs. After four positive games, Seattle finished first and 10th at the Carolina 48, albeit somehow not wearing a face mask or a horse collar.
It’s field goal range, if that’s what it’s called correctly. Two plays later, Kupp’s hands bounced to the Panthers defensive lineman’s position and was initially ruled an interception. Yes, the real-time call was wrong, but note that without Jalen Sundell’s laser-pointed strikes, Derrick Brown might have held on:
Surely the Seahawks will take advantage of a new lease on life after a series of unfortunate incidents and unexplained officiating errors? Or Walker would fumble a questionable reception in the flat and recover on the sticks. The near-fault forced McDonald to call timeout and risk a review or rush the quarterback on fourth-and-1. McDonald chose the former, Darnold was stuffed, replays yielded no results, and the most frustrating second quarter of the year ended with what we can only assume was a rehearsed sigh of frustration in the Pacific Northwest. People can enjoy clean football everywhere.
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By halftime, Seattle’s running game was starting to work: 81 yards on 15 attempts. Better than Darnold, whose 8-14-56-0-0 route told a better story than any quarterback route. Frustration aside, though, this felt like one of those games where good luck would break the dam of troubles, and wouldn’t you know it, the Seahawks beat the rival Panthers in the third quarter.
First good rest? Poor kickoff execution left Seattle trailing to its own 40 yards. Charbonnet’s explosive kick from 10 yards to AJ Barner added another 29 yards to put the visitors in scoring position. After Darnold deftly threw a beautiful pass on the first down, a not-so-smart decision came true: throw the ball into the left corner of the end zone and let JSN snatch it past Jackson. Quite the opposite is true. Jackson used his body to block his former teammate, knocking him down Xavier McDaniel-style, and then he knocked down the inbounds pass with his calf to complete the drive in the end zone.
If savior can be defined as “impactful free agent acquisition” and humanity can be defined as “your Seahawks,” then humanity’s savior enters the picture. Behold, DeMarcus Lawrence appears.
The Seahawks looked poised to score three points on a turnover until Darnold found Barner for 16 yards on third down. Clint Kubiak didn’t get too cute with the opening goal in the five-man group. Charbonnet tripled down the middle. You can’t argue with success.
The Panthers held on for two more plays this time, not throwing the ball right into the handsome hands of Julian Love until the third possession.
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Three games into the running game against the Seahawks (a team that runs the ball more than any team in the NFL and is 13-3. The year is 2025. Being a nerd, I say, go down with the nerds.) Then it was Bana time. Darnold rolled in his boots, Kupp left a solid block on an unsuspecting DB, and the big tight end quickly made his way to the promised land. 17-3, the Panthers dance on the edge.
Seattle failed to find the end zone in the first 36 minutes. Then they did it twice, three minutes apart. It felt like if the defense stayed angry, this could have been the game. They stayed angry. Carolina was slow to respond, finishing with seven points but wiping out seven minutes of valuable game time. You can score against these Seahawks, but if you can’t get even one dynamite, you’re digging your own grave. Combined with a field goal eight minutes later, Seattle’s 20-10 lead was gone for a full quarter, and Carolina didn’t improve their chances of winning.
Which brings us back to Charbonnet’s second touchdown run, which was the real deciding factor. If he wins a fantasy championship for you, give him a fruit basket. The Panthers never got another first down and Young was left licking his wounds after throwing for 40 yards on 16 carries, and coaches from both teams were sure to start preparing for Week 18 before the clock hit zero.
To sum it up in a short paragraph, the fact is, the Panthers can stay at this point for a while. As long as turnovers and the 50-50 score went in their favor, the game stayed tied. But after a turnover and the score was tied at 50-50, the game was gone.
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The win was Seattle’s seventh by two or more touchdowns. The Seahawks defeated five potential playoff teams and eight teams at .500 or above. Their 23-point margin is the best in all of football.
A few of the predators will be listed in the section below, but for now the entire team is circling unsuspecting schools of fish in Lake Washington, choosing a moment in the tournament to dive, and then heading home with dinner.
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Uchenna Nosu He ruined a drive himself, Carolina’s third. Tip passes, TFLs and quarterback hits. When he’s healthy, the line is so deep.
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You must have guessed it Demarcus Lawrence. Of course, he tried to turn the forced fumble into a touchdown return, but the sack also killed off the Panthers’ last chance late in the game.
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Michael Jacksonhe produced an end zone pick, racked up 11 total tackles, played on the dirty edge and became the “Exhibition Number Infinity” that proved the revenge game was real.
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Julian Love. There is a choice. There were also two key open field tackles. He looks fresh.
Is there anything cooler than when the entire defense changes direction knowing the ball is theirs?
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You didn’t expect me to leave Zach Charbonnet Not on this list, is it? I like Kenneth Walker, who was the go-to offensive player against the Rams, but there’s something inevitable about Charbonnet in the red zone. Did you know? It’s okay to choose one of these as a ground weapon one week and another the next. This is called an embarrassment of riches. Check it out.
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Jaxon Smith-Njiba Go here. No, not prey from a performance standpoint, but prey physically. The entire Panthers defense seemed determined to keep him in trouble and dared the referees to call fouls on every play. (LOB’s influence will never die.) Yet, like a true predator, JSN bounces back when attacked, thrives on constant harassment, and doesn’t respond to the slightest complaint [never mind] When his men went unpunished for their crimes. Well, what the hell, he’s a predator as usual. Forgot this episode even happened.
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Bryce Young. For what felt like the 16th time in 16 games, the pressure on the Seahawks’ quarterback was constant, violent, constant, open your thesaurus. 16 carries yielded 40 yards. Two sacks and five quarterback hits didn’t do justice to how uncomfortable his afternoon was.
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Two games of the Seahawks’ most exciting season in a decade happen to be Niners games. I think I’ll score 17 points again. The game ultimately came down to a prayer in the end zone, with Riq Woolen manning the defense. And win. I will win. If the Eagles are leaving, let’s go with them.
