Should BFW break out the big guns to convince Dayot Upamecano to stay at Bayern Munich?

When LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat in 2010, it was one of the most controversial and discussed topics of all time in the NBA and the birth of the famous phrase “I’m taking my talents to South Beach.”

In a preemptive (and failed) attempt to prevent James from leaving Cleveland, the city’s top C- and D-list celebrities came together to create the cheesiest (worst?) song ever written:

and Cooper Sharp There’s stuff like this everywhere and it got me thinking about what it would look like if we made something for Bayern Munich center back Dayot Upamecano at BFW. Let’s do this… and make the absolute cheesiest BFW version of Cleveland mayhem:

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[Verse 1]

Tom Adams (playing drums for no reason, like he’s Phil Collins):

The moment comes when a decision must be made

Fleetwell:

Will Dayot move on or stay?

RIPLT:

We have been very patient, but this matter has been delayed again and again

Dylan:

Yes, if you want to leave, we need to make a plan

[Chorus]

RLD:

What’s the matter, Dayot?

we kinda need you

Sprinter:

Bayern proposes huge salary increase

There’s also a signing bonus

[Verse 2]

Zippy:

This is the choice you are making

Will you stay or will you go?

Mueller era:

a bit old

Brother, make up your mind

[Bridge]

Rune King Thor:

Dayot tells us, what went wrong with the Bayern deal?

You made the exit clause too big

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Name required:

Madrid is overcrowded; those people are unbearable

Don’t forget: Barcelona, ​​Liverpool and Chelsea are all terrible

[Chorus]

Mole 51:

What’s the matter, Dayot?

we kinda need you

27 years old:

no more drug crowd

Will make you glide like us

[Post-Chorus]

Alberto:

This is the choice you are making

Come on and spill the damn tea.

Frank Moe:

We need a reply as soon as possible

Or we have to go after Schloti

[Chorus]

Pfatidi:

What’s the matter, Dayot?

Your request is so shameless.

Marco Polo:

It could be worse

You can play for Werder Bremen

[Post-Chorus]

Jack Roushway:

This is the choice you are making

Even if your agent is a clown

Logan Chug:

This situation really stinks

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it drags us all down

[Chorus]

Jodell Dessler:

What’s the matter, Dayot?

You get bonuses and raises

Philish:

Now we have reached the critical point

This is a crappy place

[Post-Chorus]

Michael Scott:

This is the choice you are making

This has taken too long

Meat slices:

If you think somewhere else is better

Then you are totally wrong

(Author’s Note: This is the most intentionally stupid post I’ve ever written, and I can’t help but laugh at the thought of the BFW community getting together to record an extremely embarrassing video to convince Upamecano to stay. It would be a sight to behold!)

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