“Either I get sober or I die.” That was the startling realization Parker Schlee came to after his battle with alcoholism reached what he described as a point of no return. “I can’t go on like this,” Schley, 26, told Yahoo. “Basically, I was begging to die.”
Schley, who works as an assistant property manager in Virginia, represents the growing number of Gen Zers (born between 1997 and 2012) who are openly discussing their relationship with alcohol and their journey to sobriety online. A quick TikTok search for “20s sobriety” turns up thousands of videos of people talking candidly about getting sober at a young age. The public-facing nature of the phenomenon contrasts with narratives that paint Gen Z as teetotal totalitarians.
Sure, Gen Z drinks less than previous generations, but they are still vulnerable to the dangers of addiction, said Daniel Siconolfi, a behavioral and social scientist at the RAND Corporation whose research includes the Sober Curiosity movement and social challenges such as “No Alcohol Month.”
“Gen Z drinks less alcohol in early adulthood than Millennials (born 1981 to 1996) or Generation X (born 1965 to 1980). In fact, 20 to 30 percent of Gen Z adults don’t drink at all,” Siconolfi said. “That said, young people in their 20s still have the highest rates of hazardous drinking and are the least likely to receive treatment compared to other age groups.”
This reluctance to seek help is largely due to shame and judgment surrounding alcohol sobriety and recovery. But with the help of social media, many Gen Zers are fighting back against these stigmas. From repeated ER visits to frat party meltdowns, these young creatives are opening up to the world about their rocky relationships with alcohol.
“I woke up in the hospital, completely alcohol-intoxicated — unconscious, breathing weakly, lips turning blue,” Schley said of a particularly pivotal night during his senior year at the University of New Hampshire. But he viewed the hospitalization as a one-off, not a warning sign.
Schley details similar experiences on his page, tracing them back to the beginning of his drinking problem. He said he had always known about the dangers of alcohol but was naive about how it affected him. “I think it’s something that other people should be worried about. It’s not going to happen to me,” he said.
But when he took his first few sips of an ice-cold raspberry Smirnoff at a high school homecoming party his freshman year, Schley was hooked.
“I fell in love with alcohol the first time,” Schley said, adding that drinking helped him quiet the noise that plagued him as a closeted gay man. “Alcohol takes away my stress. It’s easier for me to be myself when I drink.”
Schley, who like many of his Gen Z peers quit drinking in February, is blessed with the gift of digital language and has no qualms about sharing the raw, vulnerable reality of his sobriety journey with his 87,000 TikTok followers. The decision to share online may seem scary at first, but Schley said being able to use his platform to help others has been life-changing.
“I got a message from someone’s father that said, ‘I had been beating myself up so much for not being there for my son, and you helped me realize that he wasn’t ready to accept that he had a problem, and there was nothing I could do to get him out of his struggle with alcohol,'” Schley said. “It’s a really cool message because my relationship with my dad is coming to an end before I go to rehab, so to be able to help not only the kid who’s going through this, but his family, is the biggest gift I could ask for.”
Siconolfi agrees that there are real benefits to sharing these stories online. “Social media can be a powerful space for information, connection and social support, whether people are re-evaluating their relationship with alcohol or seeking treatment for alcohol use disorder,” he said.
Alkhuzama Zaini, a 24-year-old college student living in Virginia, said posting about staying sober helps hold her accountable. Like Schley, Zaini’s relationship with alcohol began early. “When I was 15 and in high school, there was a big football game and my friends and I were doing pregame prep,” she tells Yahoo. “I ended up getting alcohol poisoning during the game and the ambulance had to come.” The consequences of this infraction were swift: Zaini was suspended from school for five days, which also caused a rift between her and her family.
“My family is from Saudi Arabia and I come from a Muslim family, so this is a big thing for my culture and my religion,” she said. Despite this, she continued to drink, and her relationship with alcohol deteriorated further when she went to college.
One night, Zani got so drunk that he passed out and had to tell his friends what had happened.
“Apparently, I got so drunk that I threw up in this frat guy’s lap and he had to drive me home and the dorm RA had to call 911,” Zani said. The hazy night landed her in the hospital, where she recalls experiencing severe breathing difficulties and acid vomiting.
But she wasn’t ready to give up drinking. “The day after I got out of the hospital, I was drinking at the tailgate of a football stadium. I thought I just took it as a joke. But it wasn’t that,” Zani said. It wasn’t until her personal relationships with friends and family began to unravel that she decided to go to rehab last summer.
“I knew I wanted to go to rehab because for me it was either sobriety or death,” Zani said, adding that she flunked out of school and hid the extent of her alcoholism from those closest to her. “I drank up the handle [half-gallons] One day, hide the bottle and lie down. Now I am grateful that we are still good friends. “Her studies are also back on track and she will graduate in 2026.
For many people, sobriety is a lifelong commitment. But in some cases, this may be a temporary change to help reevaluate existing drinking behaviors. For some Gen Zers who have more concerns about being fully sober, this approach is less intimidating.
Emily Gleason, 27, is one of them. Throughout her childhood and early adolescence, she saw an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, which made her hesitant to drink. Even when she started drinking occasionally, she was always very aware of the negative effects it was having on her.
“I spent most weekends hanging out with friends, partying, and doing all the things most college students do. But even then, I knew I really didn’t like the way I felt when I was hungover, or the things I did or said when I was drunk,” Gleason tells Yahoo.
It wasn’t until the pandemic forced her to move back in with her parents in 2020 that she had to come to terms with the behaviors that impacted her relationship with drinking.
“Alcoholism was rampant in that family during my childhood and is still rampant today,” Gleason said. “As an adult, I felt like I had to face this, and that’s when I started to see drinking as a problem in my life.” Gleason is still thinking about the issue. She still drinks occasionally but did have periods of sobriety for about a year.
“Now that I’ve matured to a point where I have very healthy boundaries and relationships with alcohol, I don’t need to be 100 percent sober,” she said. “But alcohol was definitely not a big part of my life.”
