Each decade comes with a series of cars that we wouldn’t be caught driving today. Even so, the 1980s were a strange decade and some of the cars produced looked downright terrible. While the styling of some of these vehicles isn’t necessarily that bad, a poor ownership experience after purchase certainly is. We’re looking at you, Yugo. So let’s take a nightmarish stroll down the 1980s Memory Lane Hall of Shame to find the specific car that fits our profile – the worse, the better.
We start with the rather strange-looking 1980 AMC Pacer, also known as the “Fish Tank,” which was produced from 1975 to 1980. AMC calls the Pacer a “wide small car.” In the words of Motor Trend, “The Pacer’s huge glass area is designed to give the driver a better view, but makes them feel like a goldfish cooking in their own bowl.”
The Pacer was originally designed to be powered by a rotary engine, but this failed due to fuel economy and emissions issues. So AMC had to shoehorn its trusty inline-six under the hood, followed by a V8. Sales started out well for the first two years, but began to decline as a van was added to the mix. Pacer production peaked at 117,244 units in 1976, with around 2,000 produced in the final year of the model, the 1980 model. The market no longer has any interest in the AMC Pacer. Wayne and Garth, party.
Read more: The 5 worst car trends we’ve ever seen
Ministry of National Security in 1980
Front 3/4 view of a red 1980 MGB convertible, hood down on white background – Heritage Images/Getty Images
The 1980 MGB represented the final model year for the once quintessential British sports car. From the production of the first MGB in 1962 to the early 1974 models, MGBs were equipped with elegant chrome bumpers, supplemented by small rubber tips from 1970 onwards. But by September 1974, the MGB was hit with the ugly stick, and black rubber bumpers were grafted onto the previously elegant bodywork, due to the new 5 mph bumper rules then in effect in the US market. Thus, the monster you see above was created and it came to our shores. Contemporary critics agree. The rubber-bumpered MGB was sold here until the sports car was discontinued in the United States in 1980, and the bumper car’s value still lagged behind its chrome-bumpered sibling.
The problem goes beyond the bumper itself. The ride height was increased to meet bumper height requirements, but resulted in poor handling and excessive clearance around the wheels. In 1975 and 1976, the front stabilizer bar was removed for cost-cutting reasons, which made handling even worse. Emissions control took its toll in 1975 with the installation of catalytic converters and the switch from dual to single carbs. The MGB was largely obsolete, but British Leyland kept the production line running as the tools were paid for and continued to be sold. A 1980 comparison test by Car and Driver confirmed the MGB’s shortcomings, commenting, “…behaved like a septuagenarian competing in a decathlon. It jumped over bumps like a wagon, and in corners it leaned against the door handles…”
1980 Lincoln Versailles
Front 3/4 view of Golden Lincoln Palace of Versailles on cobblestones in residential area – Ford Heritage Vault
Confirmed as one of the worst-looking cars ever made, the 1980 Lincoln Versailles were Ford’s successful attempt to compete with Cadillac’s raucous Seville in the compact luxury car segment. The Cadillac Seville uses all-new sheetmetal to create its unique body style, while Ford goes the budget route and updates the Ford Granada.
The bonnet and nose, the trunk lid and its attached “spare wheel” element are all new parts. But the Versailles has the same side view as the Granada, the same wheelbase, and the same engine and gearbox choices. Still, Lincoln priced the Versace at the top of the range, making it the most expensive Lincoln car. Versailles were introduced in 1977, priced at $11,500, and discontinued in 1980. That means it’s almost four times more expensive than the Granada clone.
Lincoln Versailles does offer some free content. It featured leather seats, air conditioning, automatic climate control, and a hand-polished clearcoat finish that was the first on an American car. Even so, sales of the Lincoln Versailles never reached Ford’s projections or the numbers put forth by the Cadillac Seville. Sales were 15,434 units in part-year 1977, dropped to 8,931 units in 1978, recovered to more than 21,000 units in 1979 after the model was redesigned, and then plummeted to 4,784 units in 1980, the car’s last year on the market. Four years’ worth of sales at Versailles is roughly equivalent to one year’s production in Seville. This is a failure.
1982-84 Dodge Rampage
Front 3/4 view of red Dodge Rampage truck on black background – Stellantis
The Dodge Rampage and its 1983 platform counterpart, the Plymouth Scamp, are two models based on the historic Dodge Omni. Their style was called “austere” and “silly” by Motor Trend. This ungainly vehicle is modeled in the image of previous automotive pickups such as the 1957 Ford Ranchero and 1959 Chevrolet El Camino. It debuted for the 1982 model year and was discontinued after the 1984 model year, marking a brief three-year run. In the words of Motor Trend, the Rampage is “both cute and disgusting…”
The Dodge Rampage is built at Chrysler’s Belvedere, Illinois assembly plant. It uses the front nose cone and sheetmetal from the one-piece Omni 024 Sport Coupe, combined with a dedicated pickup cab and a bed suspended by leaf springs at the rear. Its original four-cylinder engine produced 84 horsepower, which was later increased to 96 horsepower. Transmission options include a four-speed manual, a five-speed manual, or a three-speed automatic. The Rampage has a 104.2-inch wheelbase, an overall length of 183.8 inches, and can tow up to 1,145 pounds, making it a legal half-ton pickup.
The Dodge Rampage was not a huge sales success, with 37,401 units sold during its three years on the market. The Rampage’s first year, 1982, had its highest sales, with 17,636 units sold. Even a 1984 facelift using a Dodge Charger front end couldn’t save the Rampage from its ultimate fate.
1982-88 Ford EXP
Side view of a white Ford EXP with the model in a studio environment with a vintage Thunderbird in the background – Ford Heritage Vault
Considered by some to be Ford’s hidden gem, the Ford EXP is actually the first two-seat Ford production car since the first-generation Thunderbird in the 1950s. Based on the Ford Escort hatchback, dubbed “Ford’s ugly little sin” by TheTruthAboutCars.com, the EXP’s quirky looks are designed to appeal to entry-level shoppers looking for what Ford calls the “style” of a personal luxury coupe. Although it has an independent suspension and a manual transmission option, this isn’t a performance car. With a curb weight that’s 200 pounds higher than the Escort and the same 70-horsepower engine, performance isn’t the whole package, even with some transmission and minor power upgrades. Sales were well below Ford’s expectations, and sales of the EXP’s platformmate, the Mercury LN7, were even worse, and the model didn’t last beyond the 1983 model year.
For the 1984 model year, Ford introduced a performance variant – the EXP Turbo. Thanks to 8 pounds of fuel-injected boost, power is boosted to 120 horsepower, with a 0-60 mph time of 9.2 seconds. Koni shock absorbers and Michelin TRX tires complete the package. The EXP series continued until 1985, when the car was supposed to be discontinued permanently.
But the workers on the EXP production line had different ideas. They transplanted the newly remodeled Escort’s machine head onto the EXP body. President Ford was pleased with the results he saw and approved production of the Escort EXP, which was renamed the Escort EXP, and the model remained in the Ford lineup until the end of the 1988 model year. And then it’s over.
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Read the original article on SlashGear.
