Too late, England. We’ve been hurt.
They had the best day of the tour so far, arriving with a series loss and more than six weeks after the first ball was bowled in Perth. On the first day in Sydney, Joe Root shot 72 not out while Harry Brook shot an unbeaten 78 in a big way. The two combined for 154 and counting. Look, everyone, this is what you could have won.
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One afternoon, however, one of cricket’s greatest pleasures occurred. You don’t have to watch while your team is batting.
For the first time this series, England fans in Sydney can stare into the distance. It’s safe to know that Root hit a single on a toe pass. They could catch up with a friend, ask them how they were doing, and then quickly glance back as Root was running from one to third. While waiting in line for coffee, the noise that interrupted them grew quieter. That’s not the wicket. Brooke must have been four on one. Bliss.
This is what cricket is about. This is what ashes are about. It was a quality tournament, Australia hosted it but so did England. Australia’s early morning burst left England stranded at a relatively dangerous 57 for three, but Root and Brooke arrived and settled the day on friendly wickets. We’ve been through low moments and a stream. Rather than suddenly tilting and collapsing.
All is not plain sailing. Root went wild on the first delivery and missed. And Brooke did the same on his second ball and got an inside edge that narrowly avoided the stumps. But Brooke stuck to his chaotic tactics and at times he rushed for the wicket, singling out Cameron Green as his victim on the day.
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Unfortunately, despite the calm. England can’t win this week. Lose the will to be whipped; win to be enraged. The 2025/26 Ashes will forever be remembered as one of sport’s greatest anti-climaxes. Disappointed with what cricket itself has done as it tells the world, thiswill be amazing. One day in Perth – day one – was spectacular, but from then on England only got worse and Australia only got better. The Australian public watched the incident with growing confusion.
“This? This is what you told us to get excited about.”
It’s too late but England are finally playing with some common sense (Robbie Stephenson/PA Wire)
The result is days like today, which, while good for the heart rate, only serve to exacerbate the mental rage. Confirming that those in England have not lost their minds in believing that England can compete here, today’s performance only added to the baffling frustration that they only came to compete after the ball had already been brought home. It’s a little late now, guys.
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Chronic underperformance has become a buzzword this week. The team may suffer from one or two players being out of form. But they can’t account for a team with just three batsmen averaging over 25, and a bowling attack whose leading wicket-taker has been the best in five runs in the series. England part-time spinner Will Jacks was asked to bowl 50 overs and conceded 246 runs. I’d love to see the spreadsheet, that’s part of the plan.
The frustration is heightened considering that on paper none of this seems surprising. The news from Sydney is that Joe Root, England’s greatest ever batsman, and Harry Brooke, the best batsman of his generation, have scored friendly wickets against Michael Nether and Scott Bolan. That’s what we need from this series for England, if not to achieve greatness, then at least to be involved. permissions. People play to the standards we know.
Storms in Sydney shorten opening date of fifth Test (AFP via Getty)
Of course, it’s not all plain sailing. Ben Duckett, Zak Crawley and Jacob Bethell looked cheap in the first session and the familiar bad feeling in the stomach happened again. But Root and Brooke are adults. They hit the ball. They played well. The run-rate on the day was 4.68, but England hit very few boundaries. They walked with ease.
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This is not an announcement that Buzz Ball is back. Rumors of its demise are not exaggerated. It was no coincidence that England’s best day of the series came on an afternoon with reduced rain and they had no time to make up ground. But one day, it’s fun not to watch. Don’t be afraid of every shot, trust those two guys in the middle, they’ve both averaged over 50 in their careers, and they’ll still be there when you come back.
For six weeks this England team has been unmissable. Today, you’d barely notice they’re there. marvelous.