One Reddit user wrote that their engagement would end if their fiancé continued to use joint funds to support his homeless family without consent.
In a post shared on the r/AITAH Reddit subreddit, the original poster asked if they were wrong to refuse to continue providing financial help after discovering that more than $11,000 had been spent without their knowledge.
Foreclosure Undisclosed
According to OP, the future mother-in-law lost their home to foreclosure and didn’t tell them for several years. The OP adds that if they and their fiancé had known, they would have helped earlier, especially since the family includes the fiancé’s severely disabled father and a disabled adult daughter.
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The circumstances were not known until after the family was evicted. At that time, OP booked an extended stay hotel and paid for it a week in advance.
Using joint accounts without discussion
When discussing how the family would pay for the hotel, the OP was told that the disability benefits would be used for housing. However, the ombudsman later discovered that the fiancés continued to use their joint bank account to pay for the hotel and storage room without informing them.
At the time, the OP was focused on growing the business and taking care of the kids and was not immediately aware of the allegations. When the OP later reviewed their finances, they discovered that over $11,000 had been used.
After checking the account activity, the OP drove to the hotel and told the fiancé’s family that the additional funds in the joint account would not be used. “If it costs one more penny, I’ll break off the engagement,” OP told her fiancé.
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Purpose of funds and family background
The OP wrote that the money was originally intended for a planned home purchase and for her daughter’s tuition. OP also stated that the foreclosure was hidden and the money was used without their approval.
The OP added that they and their fiancé have been together for 13 years and have never had a close relationship with his fiancé’s family. The post said the fiance’s mother rarely interacted with the children.
Details to come later
In a later edit, the OP added that the fiancé’s family had previously received legal settlements worth millions of dollars and spent them.
“I transferred all the money into my personal account,” the OP wrote, adding that the fiancé “now has to ask me if I need the money.”
The OP also wrote that the fiancé accepted responsibility for using joint funds without discussion.
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“He took full responsibility and realized he should have talked to me before taking the money,” the OP wrote, adding that he believed the funds would later be replaced with money his family was expected to receive.
“I haven’t forgiven him yet,” OP wrote. “In all other ways he was a great father and a great partner.”
Reddit draws hard line
“End the pain now and leave now,” one commenter wrote. “My ex-husband continues to subsidize his deadbeat dad – who also lost his house to foreclosure – even after we made several months of payments and agreed to reduce support.”
“This is generational denial,” another Reddit user wrote. “Jump the ship. This won’t end well for you, them, or anyone. Save yourself and your kids.”
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This article ‘If I had one more penny, I would have broken off our engagement,’ fiancée says after paying secret $11,000 hotel bill for homeless in-laws originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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