I married a cult leader at 18. I tried escaping 10 times, but the system made it nearly impossible.

• Briell Decker grew up in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

• At 18, she married FLDS leader Warren Jeffs. She is his 65th wife.

• In 2012, Decker escaped after multiple attempts. She now helps other survivors rebuild their lives.

The well-known article was based on conversations with Briell Decker, 40, a former member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the 65th wife of former leader Warren Jeffs. In 2004, at the age of 18, she married Jeffs in an arranged marriage. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was born and raised in the FLDS faith. From the time I was a child, my life revolved around religious education.

I spend at least four hours a day preaching—in the morning with my family, at school, after lunch, and before bed.

I believed everything my parents and Warren Jeffs, who became a prophet of the FLDS in 2002 and is considered the closest man to God on Earth, told me.

Growing up, no one asked me what I wanted to be, I was expected to be “the Mother of Zion.” Longing for Zion Ranch is the main campground for the FLDS in Texas.

When I was 18, my father wrote a letter recommending my marriage to Warren Jeffs. I said yes even though I was scared and didn’t love him.

Technically, women can refuse marriage, but the consequences can be severe. Losing your family, your community, and your position in the church is always a possibility.

Thinking back to the moment I agreed to marry Jeffs, it felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff with no way back.

Jeffs has a way of making everything he does seem right, even when it’s wrong. He used the Book of Mormon to justify his actions. This is what leads me to believe that the FLDS is a cult. (Multiple organizations, documentaries, and other former FLDS members have also described the FLDS as a cult. )

One time, I was taken to one of Jeffs’ group meetings (aka rave sessions). He brought the underage bride into the room with his adult wife, which was a very bad situation. I wanted no part of it and later asked for more time to adjust so I wouldn’t have to go back. I’ve never had to do this.

I was married to Jeffs for two years before he went to prison, and I spent many years with the FLDS as a member of his organization until my escape in 2012. I never consummated the marriage.

Control shapes everything—where I live, what I eat, and what I think

Jeffs controls nearly every part of my life and the lives of everyone in the church.

For example, he holds title to each person’s home through a legal trust and uses it to control the housing. He decides where people live and can move at any time.

The women in his family, including me, were not allowed to leave the house freely. We can’t go out. The food Jeffs picked out for us was delivered to our house. In some places there are cameras and caretakers watching us. There really is no way out.

As time went on, the restrictions became tighter, especially in the mid-2000s, when Jeffs was under police investigation. We got rid of television and internet access. I think this is an attempt to hide the truth from people.

I tried to escape again and again, but each attempt became more difficult

I tried to escape about 10 times before I succeeded. The harder I try, the tighter the grip becomes around me.

In an early attempt, I contacted the police and thought I might be able to leave for good. But they told me they wanted to place me in a shelter near the FLDS compound, but I didn’t feel safe there.

This was my first attempt at explaining what had happened, and I didn’t know how to express why it still felt dangerous to be so close to the compound. I ended up returning to my family at FLDS in the Short Creek area along the Arizona-Utah border because I had no idea how the police plan was going to work.

From there, I started trying to plan more quietly. I would look in the phone book or try to figure out where I could go, but I was often discovered before I got very far. People should report anything suspicious so someone notices it quickly.

At one point, the room I was in physically changed after I tried to leave. They put screws in the window so it wouldn’t open all the way, and they turned the door handle so I couldn’t open it from the inside.

Even asking for help is risky. In some areas, calling 911 can connect you to someone affiliated with the FLDS, so it doesn’t feel like a safe option. There was no clear avenue for external support, and I had no access to information that would help me cope.

the day i escaped

On May 23, 2012, I jailbroken.

That morning I tried to leave but was caught on the main road and brought back. Later that day I was in a room and noticed a screw in the window was loose.

I found some scissors and kept cutting until it was completely loose. Finally, the screw broke.

Someone in the house noticed and tried to stop me, but I kept going. I climbed out the window and ran.

This time, I avoided the main roads. I crossed paths and creeks until I reached a house belonging to former FLDS members, all of whom were against the church.

By the end of the day, they had driven me out of the city and to a safe place.

Leaving is just the beginning

After leaving FLDS, I lived in a shelter and worked to rebuild basic parts of my life. I changed my name and social security number. I opened my first bank account. I eventually got married again—this time by my choice—and began to build a life of my own.

I first saw the ocean on my honeymoon in Santa Monica and it was something I never thought I would experience. Later I saw the Statue of Liberty, which felt particularly meaningful because it represented freedom. I was finally free.

I eventually learned that I owned the rights to Jeffs’ 45-room property in Short Creek. I applied for title in February 2016 and obtained the house later that year.

I started giving free tours of it to raise awareness and connect with people who might help make it bigger. Through these connections, I worked with a non-profit organization called The Dream Center, which agreed to take over operations and turn the property into a rehabilitation center.

Today, it’s a place where people—especially those from the FLDS and other polygamous groups—can find housing, support, and resources as they rebuild their lives.

In 2011, Warren Jeffs, unrelated to Briell Decker, was sentenced to life in prison plus 20 years for sexually assaulting two underage girls. His defense, led by several lawyers, argued that his religious freedom had been violated.

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