It’s often easy to see the harmful behaviors that create a toxic workplace. However, as with all relationships, sometimes red flags only become apparent in hindsight—especially for women who have been taught to handle, make the most of, and remain silent about any demands at work.
1. “Weaponized empathy: When people tell on you while pretending to care about you.”
2. “Planned burnout of ‘disposable employees’ describes a toxic environment in which middle managers seem to burn out every manager they get and replace them as soon as they feel their performance suffers from the long-term burnout they create.”
—u/Tough_Letterhead9399
3. “I don’t know if there’s such a thing as that, but I was denied a promotion because I was too good at my current position and they didn’t want to lose me the job. I was already doing work in both positions; they just refused to compensate me for it.”
“I told my boss that I felt it was unfair to punish me for doing my job too well.
I eventually left. “
—u/kawwman
4. “Gen
5. “The ‘Olympics of Pain’: People bragging about never calling in sick and being ‘tough’ enough to come to work no matter the circumstances — this is especially scary when it’s initiated by leadership and becomes an unspoken expectation.”
—u/Em29ca
6. “‘Other’ – When co-workers subtly treat you like you’re not really part of the core group, making you feel like an outsider even without saying anything overtly hostile.”
—u/The power of intention
“I’ve dealt with this when I was on another team for cross-training, but they always said to my boss, ‘We’re here for her, she just needs to talk more,’ or ‘She’s underperforming and if she speaks up, we can help.’
They certainly aren’t. All they did was ignore me.
I was the only one on their team with a 100% pass rate. I don’t work as fast as they do because completing all the steps, even at the pace the program allows, takes longer than their apparent average completion time, which explains why no one else achieves a 100% quality rate.
Note that in this industry, a 1% drop in quality rate can double the workload, causing problems for the customer. “
—u/ChickenThuggette
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7. “Weaponized incompetence.”
8. “Toxic Positivity: Toxic positivity in the workplace is a forced, relentless positivity that dismisses, suppresses, or eliminates real negative emotions and challenges.”
“It often manifests itself in phrases like ‘stay positive’ or ‘everything happens for a reason,’ creating a culture of distrust, burnout and low morale.
This is truly the most disturbing thing in my field. I hate it so much. This is very bad for our mental health and is a trap. I refuse to be a part of it. “
—u/That_Girl_jeska
9. “When new guardrails were put in place to keep the company safe, but the old employees were acting in the old way because ‘that’s how they’ve always done it,’ superiors then asked us if we could compromise, which was effectively a full rollout, so the guardrails failed.”
“Then they wonder why the company is always short of money.”
—u/chocolate and lipstick
10. “Process or knowledge bottleneck – essentially, all knowledge is intentionally kept in someone’s head because that person likes to be in control and must feel important/needed, so they refuse to record anything.”
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11. “Treat young or new employees like babies and limit them from taking on more responsibilities or learning new tasks simply because they are young, even if their abilities are continually proven.”
—u/spirit-Fig5706
“I asked my manager friend why the employees at her store had to take care of this young girl? She said, ‘Because I want it to be that way.'” I hope she reconsiders, because that’s where the burnout and resentment begins. “
—u/dgrrl
12. “‘Concern trolling.’ Colleagues pretended to ‘care’ about my ‘struggles,’ when in fact they had been using this tactic to highlight my ‘flaws’ because they saw my ‘flaws,’ diminishing my impact and damaging my professional reputation.”
“It’s hard to fight because if you object, you look like an unreasonable, unstable vixen.”
—u/HIBERTIA
13. “‘Manic Elf Boss’ – a chaotic and mean girl who seeks promotion just for the sake of promotion, and she’ll make your life hell in the process.”
14. “I haven’t found the right words to describe it yet, but my boss likes to say that other members of the team feeling X about me will push my behavior to change, even if it’s not necessary.”
—u/leedlelamp913
“I had a boss who spent most of our one-on-one conversations digging up dirt on my coworkers. After accepting that he used this tactic on me, I saw clearly what he was doing and it was disgusting.
I can’t play. It’s hard, but in this situation, try not to say anything to your coworkers that you wouldn’t say if they weren’t on the call. I guarantee this is a trap. “
—u/Weary-Salamander-794
15. “‘Belittle and then help’ leadership style.”
“At this point, I’m like, ‘If you’re going to talk to me like that, I’m going to do whatever it takes not to ask you for help or guidance. You don’t even know how to talk to people. Next step.'”
—u/headlessbill-1
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16. “Understaffing and realizing your store managers are rewarded for Who are you Complete 3-4 times the store’s normal workload without a raise or overtime. The manager also earns a bonus that entitles them to a new luxury car every year. However, you can’t even get a higher salary by working in a field that easily doubles the normal salary. “
17. “Gaslighting occurs when ‘mistakes’ are made due to miscommunication and lack of training.”
—u/Wontstaylong23
“I once worked for an attorney and was told to let clients know the additional time it would take to complete their request, which I did. A few days later, the managing partner sent a separate email, sent only to the attorneys I worked for, which stated, ‘We are no longer sending files to (specific client).’ Never mind that it took me two months to compile and review everything about this case.
Then when the client followed up on the documents, the attorney got mad at me, so she sent the client an email claiming I made a mistake in informing them of the timeline.
I documented all her a** so HR could pick up on her toxicity. “
—u/Meerkatable
18. “Not giving someone clear expectations and expecting them to work.
“My boss gave me and two colleagues a project with very, very loose guidelines on what we wanted, but it was to create complete training materials for new people. So we did that.
At 4pm the day before the opening she said she didn’t like what I had made because ‘it didn’t print well (even though I had made sure it would print well)’ and asked me to redo it with an hour left in the working day. “
—u/chipotleshipotle
19. “‘Quiet fire’: There are many ways to do it, but to me it’s a lack of recognition for all the good things you do and just pointing out things your superiors don’t like, which often aren’t real mistakes.”
Did any of these stories surprise you? Ladies, what toxic workplace behavior have you dealt with without even realizing it? Feel free to tell us in the comments or use the form below to answer anonymously!
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