1. The very first iteration of Ronald McDonald was created by Willard Scott in 1963:
Everett Collection Historical / Alamy Stock Photo
And it was so, so terrifying.
2. The two people depicted in Grant Wood’s “American Gothic” actually exist. This is what they looked like:
/ Alamy Stock Photo
And, actually, they’re not a couple. It’s the artist’s sister and his dentist.
3. This is Margaret Gorman, the woman who won the very first Miss America competition in 1921:
Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
4. This is Stephan Bibrowski, otherwise known as Lionel the Lion-faced Man. Stephan had a condition known as hypertrichosis that caused hair to grow up to eight inches long all over his body including, obviously, his face:
Chronicle / Alamy Stock Photo
He performed for years with Barnum & Bailey and spoke five languages.
5. This is George Hackenschmidt, the man credited with inventing the bench press:
Pa Images Archive / Getty Images
Swole folks all over the world, light a candle for Georgy boy.
6. This is Conrad Veidt, the man whose performance in the 1928 film The Man Who Laughs inspired the look of the iconic villain the Joker:
Yeah…I can see it.
7. This is Daniel Lambert, a British man who was known as the world’s heaviest person in the 18th century:
Robert Alexander / Getty Images
He weighed over 700 pounds. Legend has it he once fought off a bear single-handedly. I’m serious.
Related: “The Crocs Were On Him Instantly”: 23 Absolutely Terrifying Freak Accidents That Ended Up Being Fatal
8. This is Maud Wagner, who is widely believed to be the first female professional tattoo artist in the US:
9. This is Selma Burke, the woman who designed the portrait of Franklin Roosevelt that’s still on the dime to this day:
Science History Images / Alamy Stock Photo
10. This is John Smith, a Chippewa man who was reported to be 137 years old at the time of his death:
Alamy Stock Photo
There’s controversy about whether that’s actually true, of course, but I choose to believe in my man John.
11. This is Ralph Lincoln, the 11th-generation cousin of Abraham Lincoln:
The Washington Post / Getty Images
Specifically, his third cousin many, many, many times removed.
12. This is Franz Reichelt sporting a homemade parachute suit that he was confident would save him if he jumped off the Eiffel Tower:
Ullstein Bild Dtl. / Getty Images
On Feb. 4, 1912, he gave it a go. It did not deploy.
13. This is Jacques Plante, who in 1959 became the first goalie to ever wear a protective face mask:
Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
You can clearly see why.
14. In 1964, Randy Gardner, pictured here, set the world record for the longest time without sleeping after staying awake 264 hours:
Don Cravens / Getty Images
Those items next to him are objects he would identify throughout the experiment to show he was still lucid.
15. This is Maurice Tillet, a wrestler who some say the beloved character Shrek was based on:
AP Photo
Tillet, known as the French Angel, apparently went undefeated for 18 months in the early 1940s.
16. This man, Gay Jewel, was declared the “world’s heaviest man” in 1899:
Universal History Archive / Universal Images Group via Getty Images
According to the Strand Magazine, he loved to play the violin and make others laugh.
17. In 1907, world-class swimmer Annette Kellerman was arrested for indecency after she wore a bathing suit like this one to Revere Beach in Massachusetts:
Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division
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18. This is Rumeysa Gelgi, the world’s tallest woman:
Anadolu / Getty Images
She stands just over 7 feet tall.
19. This is Valentine Tapley, a man who, in 1860, vowed never to cut his beard again if Abraham Lincoln was elected president. Here’s him in 1896:
Print Collector / Getty Images
He won fifth place at a world’s longest beard competition that year.
20. This is Albert Woolson, the last surviving Civil War veteran:
Star Tribune Via Getty Images / Getty Images
Albert fought for the Union army and died in 1956 at the age of 106.
21. This is Ham the chimpanzee, the first ape launched into space:
Mct / Getty Images
He was sent up to test cognitive function in space as well as the safety of the rocket and capsule being sent up. Ham’s mission was successful, and he returned to Earth unharmed and a true American hero.
22. This is Charlotte and Marjorie Collyer, a mother and daughter who survived the wreck of the Titanic in 1912:
Charlotte’s husband and Marjorie’s dad Harvey Collyer died in the wreck. Also lost in the tragedy was the family’s life savings of £5,000 cash.
23. In 1903, Edward Llewellen (left) made history by breaking the world record and catching the biggest sea bass ever caught off the coast of Catalina Island:
Niday Picture Library / Alamy Stock Photo
It weighed 425 pounds.
24. Here’s Hannes de Jong, the 1970 Pole Sitting World Champion, well, sitting on a pole:
Penta Springs / Alamy Stock Photo
Yes, the World Pole Sitting Championship was a real thing. In fact, the 1972 winner sat on a pole for 92 hours straight.
25. This is Chandra Bahadur, the shortest man in recorded history:
Anadolu / Getty Images
He stood just 21.5 inches tall.
26. This is Ahmet Ali Çelikten, a man who is generally considered to be one of the first Black pilots — and perhaps the very first:
Aclosund Historic / Alamy Stock Photo
He first flew for the Ottoman Empire in World War I. His contemporaries included Eugene Bullard, the first Black military pilot from the United States.
Related: I Hate To Say It, But After Seeing These Extremely Stupid Pictures I’m Convinced Americans Might Just Be The Dumbest People On Earth
27. This is a wax sculpture of Thomas Wedders, the man whose 7.5-inch nose was apparently the largest nose in history:
No jokes.
28. This is Emma Lilian Todd, the first woman to design an airplane:
Science History Images / Alamy Stock Photo
That is some contraption.
29. This is Annie Edson Taylor, the first person to survive going over Niagara Falls while inside a barrel:
Pictorial Press Ltd. / Alamy Stock Photo
She was 62 years old at the time. People going over waterfalls in a barrel fell off real hard. We should bring it back.
30. This is William Hutchings, one of the last surviving American Revolutionary War veterans:
FAY 2018 / Alamy Stock Photo
He was 100 in this picture. Shoutout Bill.
31. This is Apo Whang-Od, a 106-year-old woman who is quite possibly the oldest tattoo artist on the planet:
Picture Alliance / Getty Images
Apo Whang-Od specializes in batok, an ancient form of tattoo artistry from the Philippines. Read more about her here.
32. This is Lonnie Johnson, inventor of the Super Soaker, enjoying his invention:
Thomas S England / Getty Images
Bless this man.
33. This is Mary Ann Bevan, a widow who was given the title of “World’s Ugliest Woman” in 1920:
A. R. Coster / Getty Images
After the death of her husband and being diagnosed with a rare disease, Mary Ann joined circus sideshows to support her several children. You can read more about her incredible story here.
34. This is 455 pound Piet van der Zwaard AKA the “fattest man in Europe” in 1955:
Arie Van Vliet / Getty Images
35. This man, Paul Karason, had his skin turn permanently blue after spending years ingesting colloidal silver:
Nbc Newswire / Getty Images
He claimed that it cured many of his health problems, including arthritis and acid reflux.
36. This is Robert Wadlow, the tallest man who ever lived:
Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
Before he died, he measured 8’11” tall.
37. This is Charles Ponzi, the infamous scammer ponzi schemes got their name from:
Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
38. This picture, taken by Robert Cornelius in 1839, is generally accepted as the first “selfie”:
Robert Cornelius / Getty Images
Basically, he probably took the first self-portrait ever. Bob had to sit for 15 minutes to get this picture.
Related: 19 People Are Sharing Eerie, Unexplainable Moments From Their Lives That Will 99.999% Make A Shiver Run Up Your Spine
39. In 1909, pigs finally flew. Icarus the pig (right) went on a short flight with John Moore-Brabazon and finally did the impossible:
/ Alamy Stock Photo
You’ll notice Icarus emanating nothing but positive vibes.
40. This is Civil War veteran Jacob Miller, a man who was shot right between the eyes and lived for 17 more years:
/ Alamy Stock Photo
That can’t feel good.
41. This is Herman the Cat, a cat who was given the title of expert mouser aboard a US Coast Guard ship during World War II:
Sherman Grinberg Library
Herman, in addition to other cats aboard ships, was there to catch pests. It was a thing. Folks, do we stan Herman the Cat?
42. This is a South African baboon who worked as a signalman and assisted an amputee officer at a railway station in the 1800s. He is the second baboon to fill this role:
Duncan1890 / Getty Images/iStockphoto
43. This is a picture of 107-year-old Civil War veteran Bill Lundy posing with a fighter jet in 1955:
914 collection / Alamy Stock Photo
To be fair, there’s some debate over Lundy’s service in the Army, but, wow, he must have seen a whole lot in life.
44. This is what a French beach looked like in 1925:
Vintage_Space / Alamy Stock Photo
Imagine getting home from the beach and finding sand in your dang suit lapels. What a time.
45. This is the Dynasphere, a giant wheel vehicle invented by Dr. J. A. Purves that could go as a fast as 30 MPH:
Fox Photos / Getty Images
Bring back the Dynasphere, I say. I wanna ride the wheel.
46. This is Anna M. Jarvis, the inventor of Mother’s Day:
Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
She would later regret creating the holiday, citing rapant “commercialization” that was ruining the once special day.
47. This is the Peel P50, designed by Cyril Cannell, the smallest car ever produced:
Central Press / Getty Images
It measured “54 inches long, 41 inches wide, and 47 inches tall.”
48. This is astronaut Joseph P. Allen IV doing maintenance on a satellite in the middle of the cold, dark void of space:
Nasa / Getty Images
Again, no thanks!
49. This is a picture of a meeting of the New York chapter of the “Fat Men’s Club” circa 1930:
General Photographic Agency / Getty Images
According to the photo’s caption, pictured here are “A Rockwitz (312lbs), comedian Eddie Carvey (250lbs), David Burns (475lbs) and F C Kupper (351lbs).” Members had to be at least 200 pounds to join. Love my big boys.
50. This is beautician Max Factor with his invention, the beauty calibrator, a device designed to show which parts of a woman’s face needed more or less make-up:
Camerique / Getty Images
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