We have better alternatives to partridge
Most Red Sox fans probably wished there was an Advent calendar and a Christmas bonus day to create a whole new lineup, but what we get is 12 days. If you don’t want to get into the spirit of the (off) season and sing along, you can scroll down to the last verse.
My true love gave to me on the first day of Christmas
New owners on the pear tree!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave me
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave me
4Jason Benettis
(Yes, the tempo is a bit tight, so sing along because these improvements are worth announcing, but they don’t stink)
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the fifth day of Christmas, true love was given to me
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
Ans A new owner on the pear tree!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Seven Fabers Throw
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Theo Loren Hermonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Eight minnies mashed
Seven Fabers Throw
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Nine Wilburs pumping gas
Eight minnies mashed
Seven Fabers Throw
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Top ten pain hammers
Nine Wilburs pumping gas
Eight minnies mashed
Seven Fabers Throw
6Luke Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Eleven Bullers are confusing
Top ten pain hammers
Nine Wilburs pumping gas
Eight minnies mashed
Seven Fabers Throw
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
Jason Benetti Four
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
The pear tree has a new owner!
Finally, the finale:
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave me
Twelve popes praying
Eleven Bullers are confusing
Top ten pain hammers
Nine Wilburs pumping gas
Eight minnies mashed
Seven Fabers Throw
Six Luke A-Aplin
Five rings series!
4Jason Benettis
three al lopez
Two Roland Hemonds
And a new owner on the pear tree! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
For those who want to add to the new roster or make substitutions, possibilities include (with apologies to Luis Aparicio, whose name has too many syllables):
bare shoes
Lyon launch
fox burning
piercing piercing
collins smash
walsh wing
poly beating
Slings for sale
Robbins Robbery (i.e. hit)
Dukes dish
Scotsman steals
Jenks joust
Gillans Guidance
ETC.