When I made $1 million, friends and family kept asking for money. I had to cut some relationships out of my life.

• When I finally made $1 million, my friends and family wanted me to share my wealth.

• I’ve lost long term friendships over money.

• Through therapy, I learned that I didn’t have to be in front of people financially.

I am a first-generation American who grew up in an immigrant family where financial issues were rarely discussed. I knew my mother and stepfather worked hard and sometimes wore multiple jobs, but I didn’t know the specifics of their debt, savings, wages, or how they managed their finances.

When I was 14, my parents discovered religion and it changed the course of our lives. When I told my parents that I didn’t want to go to seminary and become a priest, they kicked me out of the house when I was 17.

At 18, I obtained my commercial driver’s license and started making money from my first business. That’s when people started asking me for money, a request that only grew in intensity a few years later when I became a millionaire.

Things changed for me when I started my own business at 19

When I got the opportunity to start my first business, I was working as a delivery driver for a bakery, which involved making deliveries. That business quickly made a lot of money.

When my family and some friends saw that the business was doing well, they paid more attention to me. I thought people who were cold towards me would change their attitude, but instead they asked for loans or money given directly to them.

In my 20s, I didn’t have the ability to give money because I had started a family and had bills to pay. Later the situation changed further.

My second business made more money than my first one

I ended up selling my delivery company and starting an online business because I wanted to work from anywhere.

I have been building my online business since 2011 and it continues to grow.

In 2023, I achieved new financial success by crossing the $1 million mark in cash received. I set a goal for myself and made my first million.

The demands are getting higher and higher, so I exclude people

My family, even those who still live in my mom’s native Kenya, and friends started to notice how well I was doing financially. I didn’t publish how much money I made, but people around me could see some signs, such as improving our living conditions, buying a new car, and paying for meals.

At first, the family asked for money slowly, but then the requests became more frequent, and some became more demanding. My good friends at the time asked me to borrow money and they wanted me to pay for all the expenses when we went out for a guys night.

Requests for money came from all directions, and even if I decided to give some to family and friends, it never felt like enough. I’m often told that I’m greedy.

For a long time I felt like my only value was making money and giving to others.

Therapy helped me set healthy financial boundaries

It took me years to realize that I had an obligation to help my family and friends before I woke up. I feel lucky that I have created some wealth and believe it is my responsibility to help those who are still struggling in life, even though I know I shouldn’t.

Therapy helped me realize that my low self-worth and feelings of abandonment were the reasons I allowed others to take advantage of me. Therapy helped me realize that I was doing more than I could do for people financially.

I had to cut ties with two of my best friends at the time due to money issues. Giving up friendships and severing family hurt my soul, but I ultimately understood it was the best decision for my mental health and financial future.

After many sessions of therapy, I kept saying no to family members who asked me for money more times than I could count. I have set boundaries and will only give money to others when I feel comfortable doing so.

I have let go of my sense of obligation and reminded myself of a lesson I learned long ago: I am responsible for my financial future and need to use my money wisely.

Making $1 million and building successful businesses over the past 24 years has taught me the difference between a real relationship and a superficial one. This lesson is priceless.

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